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what began as a wine fueled musing on a lyric. stuck with me. day after day. and then…. clarity!!

In her song “Couple Minutes” Olivia Dean reflects on the intimacy of reconnecting with someone you once loved. she sings,

back on your sofa / of course I still care / loves never wasted when it’s shared

rather than a declaration: I still care.

she offers a correction: Of course.

sitting home alone on a friday night. a third glass of red wine in my hand. I opened TikTok. “OF COURSE!!!” I declared. like a preacher to his flock.

Most love songs boldly announce, shamelessly confess, and blindly reassure. But Olivia inserts that simple phrase before the confession. to me, they carry more weight than the confession itself! more than any other lyric in the song for that matter!

Of course I still care.

the matter of caring was never in question to her.

As if she’s asking, How could you think otherwise?

I’m sitting here, aren’t I?? Back in your living room! On your couch!! OF COURSE I STILL CARE. We were in love? does that not mean anything to you?

It doesn’t just address the other person’s concern - it dissolves it entirely!

it implies that caring is the standard. it should be so self-evident that it doesn’t even deserve being said aloud.

But after a few days, I realized I wasn’t thinking about the song anymore. I was thinking about the phrase itself.

A phrase so mundane!! so overlooked!! yet it so effortlessly carries such emotional weight. do you guys see what I mean??

It’s so reassuring without the fanfare. without making some verbose or grand proclamation!!

Of course you’re welcome here.

Of course I’ll call you.

Of course I’ll help.

It’s a promise!! of absolute certainty!! but it’s veiled in coyness. It is a soft guarantee of complete confidence. <3

and if we put on our etymologist hat (the study of words and their history) IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER!!

• The phrase has existed in English since the sixteenth century and literally meant “of the ordinary course.” Its roots stretch back to the Latin cursus: a running, a path, a course of events. To say something happened of course was to say it followed the natural path it was always meant to follow.

saying “Of course I’ll help you” is not just agreeing in the here and now. it is saying there was never any other possible answer. its just the way it was meant to be!

(please let that sink in)

The decision disappears. for it was never a choice!!!

The effort is tucked away - but it is not denied!!

and you know what I'm just gonna go ahead and say it

at the end of the day, maybe that’s what love is

maybe, just maybe, it’s not needing to deliberate. like the people who love us would never describe what they do for us as a sacrifice (so we hope). They would just say Of course

I realized that that’s why that god damn phrase feels so comforting. why it has entirely consumed me for the last couple of weeks!!!

Life is so uncertain!! it’s so easy to feel small and helpless. like we have no control of our destiny!! like it’s one long string of chance happenings and endless randomness. Rarely are we ever offered the certainty that we crave most of all!!

until, someone looks at us and says, Of course